No Longer I

My life isn’t mine anymore. Because I’ve been bought at a price. How can I live this life apart from Your Presence? How can I live this life apart from Your call and destiny? How else can I live apart from You? Lord, I couldn’t imagine. I can’t imagine life without Your touch, without Your love, without Your word, without Your Presence. Every move I make, every word I speak, every thought I conceive, every desire in my heart– I’ve resolved it to be under Your shadow… I am bound in You.

This life is not my own anymore. How can I possibly live without God’s affirmation? How can I possibly live this life as I please?

I don’t have to live this life as I want. And that gives me true contentment; and that makes me whole. And that gives me peace and true freedom.

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” –Galatians 2:20

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don’t wanna lose myself..

5:34 AM.

It’s Saturday, and dapat tulog na ko ngayon, dahil kararating ko lang kaninang 3 AM. Night shift ako this month, and next month day shift ulit. Haay, I so miss the sunshine. I so miss attending weeknight church gatherings. I miss everything I was doing back then before I was hired, pati nung pang-umaga pa ko. Nakakapagod man yung after ng work ay deretso sa church para gampanan ang ministry responsibilities, pero yun ang narealize ko nung naging panggabi na ko — ngayon ko yun mas naappreciate. Every day ng shift ko ay nami-miss ko ang mga church activities. Mas lalo kong na-mimiss ang presence ng Lord sa buhay ko. Feeling ko kasi detached ako.

When we finally have known our true identity– that is, children of God— we eagerly, zealously yearn to that day when we can be in our true Home, and to be with Him forever. Kahit na gumala-gala tayo at magpaikot-ikot dito sa mundo, huwag dapat mawala sa puso natin ang tunay nating pagkatao– our real identity is as God’s children, a citizen of Heaven, co-heir of Christ. And that’s what I’m always bringing to myself, because the world can make me lose myself. It can corrupt me. That’s why everyday prayer and meditating on God’s word is essential to His children, our great weapons whenever we go out into the world.