Updating myself…

Just wanna update myself here… well, nasa Doha na ko, 1 month na. Kakaiba ang experience; nung una para akong nananaginip. But, I’m here na. It’s bittersweet, because I miss my family back in the Philippines.

Mukhang magagamit ko ang pagkamataray ko sa lugar na ‘to. Sabi kasi ng ate ko, normal lang sa mga babae dito ang hindi pinapansin at kinakausap ng mga lalaki, kaya wag daw ako yung masyadong mabait o palangiti, or friendly. Nung nasa Pinas pa naman ako, ang pagiging mataray at masungit ang iniiba ko na sa sarili, haha.

Maraming nagbago sa buhay ko ngayon. Physically siguro (puro manok dito! Pero bumabaha ng prutas dahil mura lang naman..). Emotionally, malaki. Kasi nagbago din ang mga taong nakapaligid at madalas kong kasama noon. Sad, but true. Yun ang napansin ko. Hindi ko yun narealize nang matagal, dahil siguro after 3 days or a week ay nakita ko na ang tunay na kulay ng ibang tao. Napagtanto ko na distance will really show and tell the people who only matter to you (and vice versa). Hanggang tatlong katao nalang ang mga nakakausap ko ngayon sa Facebook. Yung iba taga-like nalang, bihira pa magrespond (magcomment). Ganun pala yun. Those people who matter will truly have the time and the thought na kusang mangamusta.

Kunsabagay, ano pa nga ba ang mapag-uusapan namin? Wala na kaming something in common, dahil malayo na ko, at di ko na sila nami-meet.

Ayaw ko na ng bitterness, dahil toxin yun sa buhay ko. Mas lalo akong hindi makakapagmove on. Tuwing maiisip ko ang mga nangyari, maging ang kalagayan ko ngayon, inaalala ko nalang ang mga Salita ng Diyos na hindi Nya ko iiwan ni pababayaan. Alam kong may purpose Sya sa’ken, kung bakit nangyari ang mga bagay na yun. Maging ang mga taong piniling lumayo sa’ken, ang Panginoon na ang bahala sa lahat.

Ginagawa ko lang ‘to to keep my sanity. I know I am not alone, for God is with me.

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On teaching, legalism, and young role models

devotional_notebook

Most of my blog posts are birthed out from my devotionals, and sometimes I write them down as is. I’m not really good in fancy terms and words, and even not good in creating titles (haha). But I’m trying.

 

This one I wrote out of a growing burden about teaching and legalism inside the church. Continue reading

self-check.. is there love?

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing…13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3, 13)

 

verse 8

verse 8

Still Checking

Still pondering about God’s revelation on kuya Randy (blog)… Still checking within myself the spirit of Pharisee, spirit of legalism. Kadalasan, dahil sa kagustuhan kong gawin ang tama, by the rules, ay nagiging legalistic na ako. Minsan wala ng love. But what will abide is LOVE. What will still remain LOVE. It is how we’ve connected to people through Christ’s LOVE that will remain in the hearts of others.

Continue reading

self-check (part 1)

Hi all.

Tis my first post for this year… been very busy these past months because of work (shifting schedules). Mamaya papasok ulit (panggabi). But after four weeks it will all change.. I think I will be going back to rest again.

As usual, kahit madaling araw na ay nagsusulat pa rin, gumagawa ng blog… really wanna update myself here, and wanna share some of my sentiments. Ngayon andami ko na namang katanungan.. medyo nagiging conflicted din ako sa sarili ko.

*****

Checking Myself

checklist...

checklist…

After reading kuya Randy’s blog, chinecheck ko na rin ang sarili ko kung masyado na rin ba akong “extreme,” or parang nagiging Pharisee. Parang nagiging self-righteous. His blog narrates how God’s command to him is also similar when God told Hosea to take a wife of harlotry (prostitution). Continue reading

don’t wanna lose myself..

5:34 AM.

It’s Saturday, and dapat tulog na ko ngayon, dahil kararating ko lang kaninang 3 AM. Night shift ako this month, and next month day shift ulit. Haay, I so miss the sunshine. I so miss attending weeknight church gatherings. I miss everything I was doing back then before I was hired, pati nung pang-umaga pa ko. Nakakapagod man yung after ng work ay deretso sa church para gampanan ang ministry responsibilities, pero yun ang narealize ko nung naging panggabi na ko — ngayon ko yun mas naappreciate. Every day ng shift ko ay nami-miss ko ang mga church activities. Mas lalo kong na-mimiss ang presence ng Lord sa buhay ko. Feeling ko kasi detached ako.

When we finally have known our true identity– that is, children of God— we eagerly, zealously yearn to that day when we can be in our true Home, and to be with Him forever. Kahit na gumala-gala tayo at magpaikot-ikot dito sa mundo, huwag dapat mawala sa puso natin ang tunay nating pagkatao– our real identity is as God’s children, a citizen of Heaven, co-heir of Christ. And that’s what I’m always bringing to myself, because the world can make me lose myself. It can corrupt me. That’s why everyday prayer and meditating on God’s word is essential to His children, our great weapons whenever we go out into the world.

Untitled

->because I can’t think of a nice title for this random post of mine..

Ngayon lang ulit ako magbo-blog in Tagalog (or Taglish).  Madalas ko ‘tong gawin dati sa Multiply account ko. Puro kwento lang. Medyo nawalan na nga dati ng silbi yung journal ko kasi dun lang ako nagkekwento ng mga kung anu-anong nangyayari sa buhay ko, lalo na nung college student pa ko.

Hmm. Feeling ko ngayon hindi ako basta-basta makapagshare online. Continue reading