Having a spiritual child makes you accountable, and lets you learn about accountability. It also gives you understanding that there’s more to the ministry you’ve committed yourself into. It’s also about relationships.
“Bunga” kasi ako ng mentorship, and gusto ko talagang may ma-mentor. That’s why I’m really eager to teach young people about the Bible, Bible-reading, and things I’ve learned from the Bible and from my mentor. And now, maybe it was really God’s plan, that He gave me spiritual children. They were eight, but three of them I consider really as my own kids. And they’re boys. Oh boy. Alam mo yun, wala pa nga kong sariling mga anak, pero mukhang “OJT” ko na yung mga nararanasan ko with them. But I thank God, because I know that all those things are really like training and discipline for me– to train, discipline, correct, refine my character as His child, and as a human being as well.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18)
Dati, di ko maintindihan kung ano’ng ibig sabihin ng verse na yan. Why does fear involve torment? Pero nung merong instance sa buhay ko na parang “nanghihingi ako ng limos” sa pag-ibig (Oh c’mon!..), unti-unti sa aking pina-realize yan ng Lord. Bakit ko nga ba kailangang “manglimos” ng pag-ibig, pagmamahal, or atensyon mula sa ibang tao? Mula sa isang tao? Hindi ba sapat ang pag-ibig ng Diyos para maging maligaya ako?…At kung patuloy akong matatakot na magmahal, at magpakita ng pagmamahal sa iba, hindi ko pa rin talaga lubusang nauunawaan ang meaning ng love.
So God told me, “Fear makes you crawl back to darkness; My love is a sunshine.” When we continue to fear, we are living in darkness, in “torment”; meron pa ring uncertainty sa feelings. But God’s love is like the sunshine– we’re always eager waiting for it; we love its appearance especially after the rain or storm, or the night; we love bright, sunny days. And that’s what God’s love is. And that’s what we ought to be and do — to be full of His love and being perfected by and in it.
When I had realized this, I became outspoken when it comes to love and loving others, when it comes to expressing my affections to them. Nung first time ko silang tinawag na “mga anak” (my sons), nagrespond sila ng “Mommy” or “Nanay” (hahaha). Medyo awkward sa una, pero nung katagalan, masarap pakinggan ang ganyang mga taguri. And nagulat din ako na nagrespond sila ng ganun, na tinanggap nila ako. Parang kasi nagkaroon ako ng fear to be rejected by a person na inexpressan ko ng friendly or sisterly affection. Pero, nabago yan, at I believe nababago nang nababago, ako. Nawawala unti-unti ang aking fears. Tinanggap nila ako bilang ako.
Syempre, bilang isang “magulang,” meron ding mga masasakit na moments, lalo na pag pinagagalitan or sinesermunan ko sila. Ganun nga pala talaga — ang sermon ay unang mas masakit sa damdamin ng magulang. Pero, ang pag-ibig natin ay dapat maging katulad ng pag-ibig ng ating Diyos — unconditional. At nagdidisiplina. It does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth (1 Corinthians 13:6). Hindi rin ito nangungunsinti ng kamalian. Katulad ng pagrerebuke sa atin ng Lord dahil mahal Nya tayo (Hebrews 12: 5-11).
Dahil din sa lalaki ang aking mga “anak” ay hindi rin mawawala ang takot na baka matsismis kami. That’s always given. Pero nauna kasi yung “acceptance” with each other as spiritual family, tapos nalaman at tinanggap din ng kanilang mga sariling magulang, then nalaman ng aming pastor. So, what else is to hide? Lantad kaming lahat sa harap ng Diyos. :) Genuine love fears no tsismis. :D And I really do care for them like they’re my own sons… (That’s why when I really became a mother, I would want a son first ^_^)
Nai-devotion ko dati ang Isaiah 54, and these verses struck me:
Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed;
Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame;
For you will forget the shame of your youth,
And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore.
For your Maker is your husband,
The Lord of hosts is His name;
And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel;
He is called the God of the whole earth. (vv.4-5)
I believe that God alone is my source of true joy and satisfaction, and He knows what I’ve been through. I am really blessed because of the people He has given me, and no amount of money or treasures or material things can match to it. I praise God! ♥