don’t wanna lose myself..

5:34 AM.

It’s Saturday, and dapat tulog na ko ngayon, dahil kararating ko lang kaninang 3 AM. Night shift ako this month, and next month day shift ulit. Haay, I so miss the sunshine. I so miss attending weeknight church gatherings. I miss everything I was doing back then before I was hired, pati nung pang-umaga pa ko. Nakakapagod man yung after ng work ay deretso sa church para gampanan ang ministry responsibilities, pero yun ang narealize ko nung naging panggabi na ko — ngayon ko yun mas naappreciate. Every day ng shift ko ay nami-miss ko ang mga church activities. Mas lalo kong na-mimiss ang presence ng Lord sa buhay ko. Feeling ko kasi detached ako.

When we finally have known our true identity– that is, children of God— we eagerly, zealously yearn to that day when we can be in our true Home, and to be with Him forever. Kahit na gumala-gala tayo at magpaikot-ikot dito sa mundo, huwag dapat mawala sa puso natin ang tunay nating pagkatao– our real identity is as God’s children, a citizen of Heaven, co-heir of Christ. And that’s what I’m always bringing to myself, because the world can make me lose myself. It can corrupt me. That’s why everyday prayer and meditating on God’s word is essential to His children, our great weapons whenever we go out into the world.