renewal

Our names will define who we are, or who and what we will become. So it’s important that we know the meaning of our names.

hannah

For instance, my real name’s meaning is ‘pleasing‘ (got from this site). It’s a color too, which is a mixture of black and white. When used in a phrase or sentence, e.g., gray areas, it denotes a term of having uncertainties. Well, I don’t want to have uncertainties in my life. I want full assurance, especially of my destiny.

I have blogged about new names before; that my mentor gave me a new one: Rahmony. Not really a tricky or creative name: just interchange the first letters, and voila! It means harmony. Ahaha~ My mentor wanted me to be in harmony, in unity with others, especially with those in the church. Actually I sort of dislike that name, because it sounds a lot more like Ramon. Waah. But then, he (my mentor) calls me by that name sometimes. Haha.

I also received another name: Favored by God. In my previous blog I said that its equivalent is Benedicta (blessed), or Hannah, interchangeably. But I stick to the Benedicta name (but still, it didn’t fit me.. ;D). Then lately, I looked up again about Hannah, and its meaning said ‘grace‘ and ‘favored‘. Wow! This really fits me and what I’m experiencing now.

Last night, or midnight, I was musing on how the LORD continue to bless me with His revelations. I recalled how I pitied myself for not having any gift, or special skill, that can be used in God’s church. I felt like I was the least of all. It was so heartbreaking– being saved and being inside His ministry, yet not really being used for His glory. But I continue to desire, and God did not fail me. In a matter of weeks, my spiritual understanding was opened into the revelation and deep things of God’s word. He breakthrough me with His Holy Spirit. I feel like a new person. He gave me His gifts. He is releasing and delivering me from depression (or oppression) and from the spirit of timidity. Before I was not fond of singing while playing the piano. But now I can’t play without singing along, with melody of praise and worship to the LORD. It’s really amazing. God is amazing. He can turnaround a life in just a short period of time. That is because of His goodness and grace towards me.

Because of this, I remembered Hannah’s word in 1 Samuel 1:10-11:

And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish. Then she made a vow and said, “O Lord of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall come upon his head.”

I was afflicted before because of my spiritual barrenness. But God answered me, and showed me His kindness and greatness. He remembered me, His maidservant, like He had remembered Hannah.

The gifts we have must be used for God and for His glory alone. We must be found faithful, being fruitful in the things– spiritual or physical– He has graciously given to us. If we have this pure desire and motive, He will surely give it to us according to His will. Praise God! He is great and mighty in power and glory!

~

Hannah means ‘favored,’ ‘grace’ in Hebrew

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