New Strength

But those who wait on the LORD

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.

-Isaiah 40:31-

Hindi ko siguro maga-grasp nang todo ang ibig sabihin talaga ng verse na ‘to, kahit antagal-tagal nang ineexhort. Pero salamat sa kantang Panibagong Sigla* from the Pagsambang Wagas album of Musikatha**, na-inspire ako lalo, especially nung mga panahong nakakaranas ako ng matinding depression. Sabi sa mini exhortation ng kumanta, hindi kailangang hintayin pang matapos ang problema bago makapagpuri at sumamba sa Diyos; kahit habang nasa gitna ng unos, makakaya nating sumamba sa Kanya dahil binibigyan Nya tayo ng kalakasan at pag-asa. Naalala ko yung araw na nagdasal ako before leaving (for OJT), naalala ko nalang ang lyrics  nung song, “Ikaw ang hangin na nagtutulak sa akin, sa ibabaw ng bagyo na nagngangalit!” Naiyak nalang ako nun. Dahil iniisip ko nun, na ang Diyos, Sya ang patuloy na sumusuporta sa’kin; sa kapaguran ko, Sya ang nagbibigay sa’kin ng lakas. He’s the wind beneath my wings, ika nga. Alam ko na habang nagtitiwala ako sa Kanya, sasamahan Nya ko at palalakasin.

During moments of depression, I have discovered something about myself. Whether it’s true or not, still it has made me rethink of who I am, and maybe, through it, the LORD is changing me, my heart, my mind. To understand myself is to understand other people as well. To deepen my understanding of other people and their behaviors is to deepen also my desire to understand how God acts on each one of us. Through this discovery, I found out that God has given me His peace and security. There is peace in my heart, that whatever’s happening around me, how negative they may be, they could never overcome the joy the LORD is giving me. That though many people don’t understand me and the way I am, I know that He’s the only One who could, and still loves me bar none. I have to set things free from my life in order to keep something better He is giving me.

I have asked myself and the LORD if how long I am going to be like this, having this kind of placidity. But He is able to strengthen and empower me by His word.

It’s November, and several things have come and passed by. My days of being an OJT were over (sakto sa araw ng JIL 33rd! :D). Somehow, it’s become a gift and blessing from the LORD. Then NYPC came, and this one became God’s way of putting into remembrance His will for me (and to many young people). So I say, hindi na talaga masama ang mga nakalipas na araw ko. There are still better days to come, and they are worth rejoicing.

*this become my top favorite =)

**go and get a copy! :D

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